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Invite a friendI have no clue who wrote this, but it's pretty funny.
It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in,
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Eating sardines out of a tin
He says, "Son, can you give me a T shirt?
I don’t care if it’s been pissed on
Mine was just stolen by a Puerto Rican
Who told me that I had no home."
Chorus:
Get the hell out, you’re a homeless man
No money here tonight
Get the hell out, you’re a homeless man
For the liquor store make a right
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
But he sucks with a joke and I hope that he chokes
On a big fucking cup of green tea
He says, "Bill, this leukemia’s killing me,"
As the smile ran away from his face
Well I’m sure that I could be a porn star
If I just had a nice face
Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a life
And he’s talkin’ with Davy who’s still in the navy
And has a guy named John for a wife
And the waitress is strip dancing
As the businessmen shove bills up their ass
Yes, they’re sharing a felling called horniness
And that’s better than being at home
Get the hell out, you’re a homeless man
No money here tonight
Get the hell out, you’re a homeless man
For the liquor store make a right
